Splash Dodger T-Shirts

If you're going to scream every time a kid yells cannonball, you're not coming with me anymore.

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

Bring your own inflatable.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Bathing the dog

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Private Viewing

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

'The country is awfully deep, but the falling is delightfully soft and safe'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

"Scratching the infected area will only make it worse, Mr Bonaparte!"

'Don't read the Book of Revelations yet -- it's full of spoilers.'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

Some people bring sunshine wherever they go.

'Charity sends her thanks!'

The dream works when the team works!

'Is it labor day already?'

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Children swimming.

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

"Can I pretend he's yours?"

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'

Leaking Art

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'