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'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Arrow Church

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

"Home depot."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

'You must heal yourself.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

FAQs.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Christian and Born again Christian...