Spiritual Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Jehovah's Witness protection program'

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

Reserved for Apostle of the Month

"So, does God always call people to the ministry or can he text too?"

'This is God I Missed you in church last Sunday.'

'Here you go -- Don't say I didn't warn you.'

'Nice try.'

'Y'know, I came here long before there was all that modern technology!'

God Happens

"Sorry, madam, he's on a break."

"His mercy does not extend to debt forgiveness."

"Sorry, wrong house."

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'My dead mother's been trying to contact one of those TV psychics...She's so gullible!'

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

'Lord! I say I want to render on to Ceasar, but I don't mean it!'

'It's amazing how fast people become big tippers.'

"It's Amnesty International. They want to see the people we're holding."

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

'If you want to attain true inner peace, you'll have to stop meditating about the Kama Sutra.'

"That was one #!@* good sermon Preacher."

"What happens on earth stays on earth, right, sir?"

'Now-Now! We all make mistakes.'

"Wow Jesus, you don't look anything like your pictures."

'Cut-rate wisdom lost my lease.'

'You never told me he was a spitting lama.'

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

I agree it's kind of sad...but it was just a matter of time.

"Now that I'm enlightened, I have to admit: I kind of miss the suffering."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"You call this a constitution?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'