Spiritual Communicator Pillows

"I'll check and see if he's available."

"It's your mother. She wants to know why you never summon her."

Speaking in tongues for the Deaf

"How else you gonna catch up with old friends if you don't gotta smartphone, Gramps?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

'Go right on in, Helen. By the way, be sure to read tomorrow's newspaper - I understand your grandson has drawn a cartoon in your honor.'

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

'U. . .S. .U. .C. .K. . . . L. . O. . L.'

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

"I find it helps to imagine Go as some kind of divine creator."

'If another barman cracks the joke about not serving spirits, I'm leaving ...'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"I've been feeling more transparent."

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"I'm a pastor. My job is to speak 20 minutes on Sunday and listen the rest of the week."

'Quit interrupting me. You were always doing that.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

"Well, to be honest, I try to avoid reunions - my first four husbands are here."

Seance: That line is currently busy...would you care to keep holding?