Spine Humorist Pillows

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

The rocket powered skiier

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Rude Snowpeople

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

German School

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'