Spin Doctor Pillows

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'We have good news and bad news. The good news is we've developed a credible spin for the bad news...'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"Let's change 'brink of chaos' to 'Everything is wonderful.'"

"If we're going to keep this quite, we'll need a public enquiry."

"I want each of you on the way home tonight to stop, look up, ponder the heavens, and consider how insignificant our second-quarter loss really is."

'I've brought in a psychology consultant to explain that money can't buy happiness, so who cares about downturns?'

'I'm majoring in political science and minoring in ballet - I want to be a spin doctor.'

'And the record proves my mistakes are as valid today as they were when I first made them.'

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"And today in Washington a top Administration apologist issued an apology."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Corporate greed has become unpopular...Any suggestions for a new name for it?'

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

There now follows a party political broadcast on behalf of the status quo...

'So the peasants are unhappy. Well do something about it. You're my spin doctor.'

Foley Optical - Supplies of rose-colored glasses for the White House.

'Here are your controversial remarks spin-doctored.'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"But Stephen...this is what you do with bad news!"

Man with a button on his head.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

You've got the skeletons....we'll provide the closet!

"We think you could gain much wider support simply by re-languaging your bigotry."

"True, it's been revealed that I have a second family, but, I assure you, I am a decent second-family man."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"All too human is fine- unless, of course, it's all too often."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

"How the hell and I going to spin this?"

"The main problem facing us to to make hypocrisy not sound like hypocrisy."

"I will not mince words, but may slice, dice, and finely chop."

Water the Masses