Spin Doctor Aficionado Pillows

LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'I'm in P.R. This is where I keep the spin.'

'And I've been able to save the taxpayers' money by getting my political spin from cheaper sources overseas.'

'A spin doctor just isn't enough any more, Senator - you need a choreographer.'

'Before we begin, management has asked me to announce that it is the policy to discourage all staff members from speaking to the media.'

Campaign Headquarters: The office is closed while the candidate reinvents himself.

"We specialize in corporate slogans, business brochures and annual reports to shareholders..."

"Thanks, Mr. Zuckerberg!"

Political Speech Making Tutorial

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

The Truth

A boy and his spin patrol.

Un-Truth

Chinese History: Redwash

"There sits the unvarnished truth. Now, how shall we interpret it to our advantage?"

'I don't know whether these are good grades or not. The teacher calls them unique.'

'Your job, Richards, is to make sure that my name never appears in a headline alongside the word 'siphoned.''

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'Sir, what comes first ??" the buzz or the spin?'

"Your job will be to make these results look Stellar."

"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."