Spill Detective Mugs

Rudy, it's come to my attention you've spilled 348 gallons of coffee and tea. What? I did not! I'm talking over the course of the last 16 years. Don't bother denying it, every time you've spilled a drop, Gunther measured it. Gunther? Who's Gunther? That's what I named him. He came here on a low-skilled work visa. He's been working under the floorboards ever since it expired. Very bad man.

The interested bystanders.

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Evolution.

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Unsafe Drain Covers!

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

Happy Face Grows Third Eye.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

Grim Reaper walks through an urban environment wearing a gas mask.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'I need something to spill.'

La Tour 2007.

"Oh no!"

This sucker was pretty clogged. Found lots and lots of wool. Yes sir, yes sir - looks like about 3 bags full.

'Yes Sarge - looks like another carbon footprint'

'Probably left here my the decorators, as I was saying, the roof is watertight.'

'I'm from China!'

Gene doping in sport.

Cluster Catastrophe

"Doc! The particulate matter readings are spiking!"

'Yes, it's full of chemicals.'

"From the gentleman at the end of the bar."

'I wonder if anyone will miss me after I'm gone?' 'Would you like to pay your bar tab now?'

'I Keep Thinking it's Somerset.'

'Please note this perfume should not be used by pregnant women, women who may be pregnant or those taking an Monoaimine Oxidase Inhibitor.'

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

The Ocean's Plug

'Ol' Zeke across the mountain's been stealing all my business with his new low-carb moonshine!'

German Flooding

Wow, what's the SPF on this stuff?

'We're having a bit of a problem with the drainage in our bathroom. . .How soon can you get somebody out to us?. . .Have you got anything earlier than Tuesday?'

'It appears he caught his tie. Let's mark this one down as a victim of fashion.'