Spice Whisperer Gifts

The Four Seasonings.

The Busy Gardener

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Plant Lady

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!

Tree Passion

Man watering his plants in the rain.

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

Gerald was convinced his plants could understand...and dig what he was saying!