Spending Time Together Gifts

Wife turns husband off with remote control.

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

Sharing Interests. Husband has taken up knitting.

"If yer a potato, I'm a potato."

"What shall we stare at tonight?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Haircuts

"She's been so creative lately."

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Office pics on dinner table.

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Home Sweet Home

Swinging

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'