Family Time Gifts

All-Candy Seder.

"Before we begin this family meeting, how about we go around and say our names and a little something about ourselves."

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

"We're all together watching television, but we're not all watching television together."

"Are you feeling O.K.? You haven't touched your phone."

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

Family working together

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'I'm busy. Can you make it yourself?'

The Freelance Life.

"Done at last. I wonder how old my kids are?"

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

Rock on Grandma!

The Vorsteins plan to raise their own turkey for Thanksgiving failed the moment their kids named it 'Bobo'.

'This is alphabet soup, Mom. I don't use the alphabet in the summer.'

'When I was your age the whole family had to gather around just one screen.'

'In the interest of spending more time with my children, I've put Bobby and Emily in charge of corporate strategy.'

'Ok, let me get this straight; your friend Kristyn is no longer coming to have supper with us because Danielle told you that Tracy heard from Holly that her sister Melissa thought she saw Kristyn in the mall talking to your old boyfriend?'

Holiday Travel.

'Grandfather...what was so good about the old days?'

Balancing Family and Work

Three favourite words: Back to school.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

"Of course, we got married in Italy in '59, so even though we have no symptoms our son in law thinks it's safest to cancel our annual family visit."

A snowplough throwing up pets and toys

'Well, that's us FINALLY paid off all the bills from Christmas last year.'

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'How could you kids be so irresponsible?! You bury your dad in the sand and then lose him, knowing full well that the car keys are in his pocket!'

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'