Spending Time With Children Gifts

'Fair is fair, Amanda. Now push me already.'

A man waits for his child on a snail animal ride.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

I like the Jets...I guess

Packaging Russian Dolls

"They grow up so fast."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Santa Claus's Mail

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"She's been so creative lately."

Haircuts

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Bookworm Sleepover

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'She's just great with the children.'

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'You and Rags working together make great dinosaur finders.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Child about to jump off ironing board into bath.

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"