Spend Thrift Problem Solver Pillows

'You have to work two and a half years to cover your annual living expenses.'

Queen of Upcycling!

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

House sale.

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

'We have to move again -- I've worn out all the banks in town.'

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

'Your shops were known for selling secondhand tat, but we want to reimage them as environmentally leading edge social centres for the reutilisation in an enviornmentally sustainable way of secondhand tat!...'

'Teri and I rescued these cabinets from a landfill.'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

Wallpapering.

"There's some question as to how long we're going to be able to keep the lights on."

'We only want small portions. I'm counting my calories and he's counting his pennies.'

'Parties, discoteques, pubs... It's hard enough spending all your money without me having to earn it first'!

Thrift: Have a face-lift, and keep the old face.

'You wanted this vase? Don't worry, I'll be having a yard sale tomorrow and you can buy it.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

'What do you mean, you can't look at the Milky Way because you're lactose-intolerant?'

That's very thoughtful of you - a check for five gallons of gas.

"Wow, this is weird. We've been pre-declined for a new credit card!!"

"You don't qualify for a personal loan. I'd offer you some personal advice but you don't qualify for that either."

"That's 59p for the flight will you be needing the £345 'access to the toilet' option?"

2nd Hand Shop.

Bob didn't have much disposable income. But somehow he still managed to throw away a little each week.

'This year, giving holiday gifts may be problematic. I want to regift, but I don't remember who gave me what gift.'

"Don't take it personally. No one is getting as many credit card offers as before."