Spellcaster Gifts

'I'm so proud to be part of a profession that has never discriminated against women.'

'Do you run everything through a spell-checker?'

"Since Brexit, I can't get half the ingredients."

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

Hexercise.

Newt sale

"Admit it ... you were hexting while driving again."

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Okay, okay!... I'll buy a few pegs!'

'Mum, have you seen my pet lizard anywhere?'

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'Wait, someone just sent me a hex message.'

"...bloody hell, here comes Rolf Harris!"

"Got it out of the River Caf� Cookbook actually"

"Your're mum's well wicked."

"I can't use this. It's past its spell by date."

"Just one eye of newt. I'm on a diet!"

"Isn't it wondrous? Instant newt: add water and stir well."

"Try splashing me now."

'I do have one really nasty spell left, but I'm saving it for the first skinflint I meet.'

Coven ready - Witch in supermarket with a 'coven ready' chicken

'I need a spell to vanquish Harry Potter hype.'

"... Well excuse me, Captain. But whose idea was it to let her have one last wish?!"

Magic Mushrooms

I thought this year we'd do soup and salad.

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

Witches of Instagram

"Here we are."

Toadstools

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.