Speedster Humorist T-Shirts

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Potholes.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Oh, oh, it seems they've had a little trouble with the hand-off in lane number three."

'Hey, wait for me!'

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

Man running

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

Birthday Racing Car

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"IBS isn't all bad. It was largely responsible for me winning 6 sprinting medals in college track."

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

A souped up car...

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity."

'Beware of SUV.'

Gangsta wrap.

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Hipster Police Department

Rolling Stop.

'Think Basics.'

Congratulations for male runner

Arcarde Patrol