Speed-reading Fan Pillows

'Finished! You see, I'm not slow at everything: I'm a great speed-reader...'

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"What old school? This is my life."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

Starvation Watching

Formula One car origami

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

Taking to the sky...

"My, it feels good to sit down."

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'I believe you were first.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

Tripled his reading speed with no loss in comprehension.

'Since you lost your job you're really taking this 'taxi-driver for your kids' thing seriously, Dad.'

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

"Would you put down that Kindle?"

Rapid reading center.

Angry pensioner

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

"I ask the jury, who among us would not have done the same, if given ready access to a huge vat of cheese and a lives streaming social media feed?"

'Soon I will have proved it ONCE AND FOR ALL!'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

The Race