Speech Star Gifts

Soapbox Lectures - To an audience of a dog.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Ban on Free Speech

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Hanging off every word...

MLK

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

"The White House Washington"

Masters of Political Oratory

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.