Speech Satire Appreciator Pillows

'... And now I shall pass you over to tonight's speaker who will give a brief summary of my introduction.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Gay Times...

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'Oh Hi!'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Steamed vegetables."

"They're so like us."

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

The Berlin Peace Movement

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

"Amateurs."

The Greek Trampoline

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Russia Money Laundering

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."