Spectral Scribbler T-Shirts

Ghost Writers Wanted.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

Will Self deprecation

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

OOPS!

Musical Prodigy

How to create a brilliant cartoon

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

Anna Burns

Writer’s Corner

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

Sailor Writing

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

A pen spewing letters