Spectator T-Shirts

'This guy figures to be on his bicycle all night.'

Church for sports worshipers.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

Time Machine Collision

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Hugh fans!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Beer Order

Vendor selling testosterone.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Football supporters.

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'Now watch our sales increase.'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.