Spectacle Savvy T-Shirts

'It may take a few days for your eyes to adjust to bifocals Mrs Reynolds'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Hugh fans!"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Get on with it!

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"Shakespeare wants to kill off the leads and destroy any franchise potential. I tell you these artist types can never see the big picture."

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

The Kink and I

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Man with two pairs of glasses.

"Yes, the glasses work well, but now that I can clearly see what we're fed, I've lost my appetite..."

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

I'm from Sleepy Hollow and haven't eaten in 240 years."

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

'Genetically-altered mice, capable of understanding rudimentary sitcoms.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

'Nobody move! I've lost a contact.'