Spectacle Aficionado Pillows

"You really need bifocals. Then you can read the fine print and see the big picture, too."

'What do you mean you can't read the top line?.'

'I can't read a thing. You're holding the card much too close.'

"I'm sorry I didn't find your wallet but I found six pairs of reading glasses!"

"These high-tech glasses are awesome! They make you look cool instead of a computer geek."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

Papageno from The Magic Flute

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"It's a play on words."

Reese Witherspoon

"Hugh fans!"

Senta jumps into the sea

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"Just when you're about to lose faith in humanity, you see Shakespeare in the Park."

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"A haand gel...!?"

Fourth Tableau of Das Rheingold

'Hello, I'm your understudy.'

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Mu-ther!! Pu-lease! I already have cleaned my room. I vant to be left alone! So when are the drama club auditions? Everyday.

Doctor Bartolo

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"No. I don't want to see an all-male production of 'Little Women.' "

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

Royal Love

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

'Want to make some big money, William? A publisher wants you to write a page-turner.'