Spear Throwing Aficionado Pillows

'We want the most vulnerable...I suggest the one with the Blue Rinse.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

'So you have to ask yourself: do you feel lucky?...well do you, monk?'

Pub Kendo.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'That's the new budget team that came on board last week!'

Early detection was rarely helpful.

Jimmy Anderson

Fish with Shield

Swords for Making America Great Again

Scheduel.

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

'Ready...and.....Rattle!'

Sweary Chef - A bad tempered chef swears at the fish he is about to prepare and the fish swears back.

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

Cricket ball deliveries

"Did you enter the correct password?"

"But hey - no added preservatives!"

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'

"Who's going to carve?"