Spatula Warriors Gifts

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"And yet, as we look at our lives, can't many of us say, 'My cubicle is too small?"

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

I think we need stronger slug pellets for the garden!

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

Players fight over a board-game called 'Squabble'.

"We bought the most expensive cut of meat....you marinated it for two days in your secret sauce....and all you end up with is that?"

Dry Cleaning

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

Crisis at the health club.

Business Advice

Superheroes Alliance. We need somebody to be flexible and pick-up a holiday shift! Let's call Plasticman!

Who do you think you're kidding? The cub scouts don't have a "special ops."

"I hope you don't think that music while I waited soothed me."

"Mother, please!"

FOOD FIGHT AT THE OK CORRAL.

"Your spatulas are no good in this town mister."

'It started with a headache, but not I've got a bedsore from sitting so long in this waiting room!'

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

"Great job, Johnson! The budget changed last month. We need you to redo the whole thing."

'I need a larger cubicle.'

Weight lifter with weights up in the air. All the officials wearing clothes pegs due to the bad body odour problem.

"You forgot again? How hard is it to pick up dryer sheets?"

"I believe genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration."

'I hate Mondays!'

"Would you like to hear some music while you hold."

It's called a wetsuit...Keeps you warm, even in icy-cold water...You should try one...

'Have you won a major sporting tournament or are you just feeling sweaty?'

"Stupid insurance form won't let me choose web as my primary care physician!"

'You weight 287 pounds and you will probably eat this card.'