Spam Scholar Pillows

Pay more attention to your mail. All those pre-approved credit cards should raise your self-esteem.

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

Eugene Ionesco

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Dear Diary

Meet the People of the Internet

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Spam.

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

The Artificial Intelligentsia

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

'What the...?!' 404 ERROR!

"I think somebody thinks I've been away from my desk too long."

"For today's punishment, you'll be listening to my mom talk about her foot pain."

"Why do I have to go to school? Why can't I just log onto their website when I get up?"

"Mmm, Spam."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

The eMailman's Creed

"I'm the Nigerian Prince that emailed you. I got concerned when I never heard back."

UCU University Lecturer's Strike

"I create spam for the internet."

Spam on Mousetrap

Email Forwards - Self Treatment for Hemorrhoids.