Spammer Pillows

"I create spam for the internet."

My Spam Sketchbook

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'I delete so much junk mail, my trash can icon turned into a dumpster.'

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"Here's my wallet, my phone, the key to the safe and an application form for your so-called 'mind control device.'"

Meet the People of the Internet

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

Your computer is not fully protected...

Spam.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Oh no! We're being spammed again!'

'No dear, there's no post - only junk mail.'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Pandora's Inbox

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

Internet crap.

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

"Mmm, Spam."

"I love bonfires. Thanks to all the junk mail I get, I have one everyday."

'Wow! I've got one from someone I know!'

'Okay, sir, can you identify the spam?'

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

Spam on Mousetrap

"You mean all this time everything was really a screw?"

"Junk mail."

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

The eMailman's Creed