Space Tourism Gifts

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

The Squillionaire's Space Race Heats Up

Blue Origin

Musk, Branson, Bezos.

"I can't afford those 10 minute space flights, but a 10 minute double martini puts me in some kind of orbit."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You left this on our ship."

"Houston, we have a problem."

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Sometimes George likes to pretend he's an astronaut.'

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Take me to your mechanic."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

Star Wars vs Star Trek

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

When the ship needed to go faster than Warp Speed, the crew ate lots of pungent beans.

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'