Space Tourism Entrepreneur Gifts

Bezos in space

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

'The good news is we've discovered a vast new oil resource. The bad news is we need a space ship to get there.'

Blue Origin

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"Going to Mars sounded like fun. Do you think we can get dad to finance it?"

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

"Possible exception to Prince William's proposed halt on space travel." proposed halt on space travel."

"You are here"

"We came to your planet because there are just not enough pickleball courts on our planet."

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

Moon Souvenirs

UFO

'Is it true that you people give tax breaks for minority-owned businesses?'

'We would like to visit with you about the possibility of expanding our franchise...'

Ned's inflatable raft service was unable to stay afloat, and ended up going under.

Man: 'Okay,get ready folks! Here come the Astronaughts!'

I went to Earth and made crop circles, but all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

"I can't afford those 10 minute space flights, but a 10 minute double martini puts me in some kind of orbit."

"Could you help me with this?"

'We're not going to Roswell again, it's such a tourist trap.'

'Looks like the Germans were here first.'

'It appears to be a set of luggage earmarked for Dallas, mission control.'

"No, I can't 'just call the AA'!"

Private Commercial Spacecraft: 'Hi there! I'll bet you'll be wanting to buy some oxygen!'

"Jacoby found a Starbucks."

Musk, Branson, Bezos.

'It's definitely a global warming.'

Glass Bottom Earth Tours

You called me, boss? Yes. I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we've found. I want you to stop doing that. At least until I'm done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don't need any competitors driving up the prices. Very bad man. When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing.

Alien landing on earth with the 'Good Beer Guide'