Space Baron T-Shirts

"I sell space."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Houston, we have a problem."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Not now, Oliver."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

"Sold his air rights."

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

Elephants are finding it increasingly difficult to find unspoiled places.

Hot Towel Web Service

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

Asteroid Bennu

Glimpses One Dollar

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

"Wait, ok, I've got it. It says, 'Beware....land....shark.'"

Mars Rover

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

"It's non-negotiable."

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

"You're not even dressed?"

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen