Space Baron T-Shirts

"I sell space."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Not now, Oliver."

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

"Sold his air rights."

Hot Towel Web Service

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

Elephants are finding it increasingly difficult to find unspoiled places.

Asteroid Bennu

Glimpses One Dollar

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'I invest in emerging markets.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

Mars Rover

"Wait, ok, I've got it. It says, 'Beware....land....shark.'"

"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"

'I hear that earthlings have finished their space shuttle program. I hope they don't make it here. It would destroy proprty values.'

"It's non-negotiable."

'Einstein was right - space is curved.'

'They're plowing you? -- how does it feel?', 'Groovy!'

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

"You're not even dressed?"

Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Celestial Sadie, In the Western sky after sunset, Jupitor can be seen nearly aligned with Venus. What do you make of this? R. Yates. Excellent question. That reminds me of a long lost civilization, in which there was no such thing as a typo. Where no one ever hit the wrong key because they wrote letters by hand. Eventually, it became so obsessed with speed that it began typing everything, and so inconsiderate that it soon stopped bothering to proo