Spa Serenity Seeker Gifts

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Club Antisocial

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

Turn, turn and turn.

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"Showoff"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"It is my place!"

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

"... and this is Carol’s stupid meditation room."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Ultimately, the teachers union agreed to a lesser pay increase in exchange for a full-time massage therapist in the faculty lounge.

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'Who would have thought there was a market for it? We're going to be rich George!...'

"I've seen this one."

There's a popular new health spa down there. The endorphins are having a blast in aerobics. Antibodies are learning kickboxing and the adrenaline is getting some much needed relaxation in the yoga studio. The only problem is the water molecules. Everybody is concerned about them! What's wrong? They haven't been seen since they went into the sauna!

'The Karma of the marketplace is about to overwhelm the Dogma of policy making,'