Spa Savant T-Shirts

"Getting a Brazilian has been nothing like I expected."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"House red, sir?"

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'I know we're all terrified of malpractice suits, Bob, but as plastic surgeons, I think we can do a little more than just 'style his hair and call it a day.''hair

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

With uncertainty over what happens after Brexit we can't trust to our traditional forecast models..."

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Life's choices (Tampons and Chocolate).

"The groomer used too much product."

''Solar energy'? -- like I don't do enough for the little twerps already!'

"Are we at the undercoat stage yet, or is this still the primer?"

'Do you just add more layers as you get older, Mom?'

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'

'Medium well, please.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Frankly, I think they've been completely obnoxious ever since they went solar."

'We're going solar power all the way!'

Vitamin D

Great customer care is not optional.

"Now, that's how you know you're in the garden of bird lovers: They've installed a Spa, not just a bird-bath..."

Hygiene in food processing

'He's not under yet.'