Spa Day Fan T-Shirts

'Botox you fool! not buttocks!'

Sensitive Range: "Ooooh, you've hurt my feelings now...!"

Tanning salons to avoid. . .

God's Manicure.

"Tommy!"

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Loofah Lady

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

DIY marriage counseling.

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Trawling for Fish.

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You're right. The sunscreen does taste like ranch dressing."

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent