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Dear Diary...Royal Diary

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Hows it coming?'

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

Writer’s Corner

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

Tourist graffiti on the top of a mountain.

School of Music. If you need perseverance to be a musician, what's all this I hear about unfinished symphonies?

Sailor Writing

"It's an unfinished Wordle."

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

Recycling Station: Manuscripts.

John Bolton

Commandments block.