Scribbler Of Silly T-Shirts

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Will Self deprecation

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.

'Hows it coming?'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Writer’s Corner

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

Writer's Block

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

"I've learned to express my anger through my writing instead."

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

"Baldo, it's great that you want to draw editorial cartoons for the school paper. But effective cartoons comment on important issues. They are not a forum for your personal agenda."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'

"It's the worst case of writer's block Sidney has ever had. He hasn't put a word on the page since fifth grade!"