Silly Scribbler T-Shirts

"Virtue is like a thing I saw one time when I was somewhere." "Do not be concerned with gooble or that tooten which bones." Man, I gotta stop writing these in the middle of the night. Confucius in the Morning.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"I've decided to cut out the middleman and self-publish."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Now that I've written the book, could you put in a good word with the sales team's muse?

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

'Hows it coming?'

Will Self deprecation

'They've agreed to our 3-book, 7-figure offer, but only if you remain obscene and obnoxious through book 2.'

'Are you sure this is the only way to get rid of your writers block?'

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'He's just come back from a 'stress management' course.'

"I decided to burn all my previous napkins and start fresh."

Writer’s Corner

Screenwriters, Inc. Send this revised script to Rupert Murdoch! Right! I'll fax the fix to Fox!

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Writer's Block

The final reward for a writer... 'R.I.P. At last a deadline I can live with!'

A pen spewing letters

"No wonder you're struggling with your novel. You're not wearing your writer's hat."

The three laws pf pen-o-dynamics

"It's an unfinished Wordle."

'Dammit, Bubbles, we need this memoir yesterday - write, damn you!'