Sovereign Of Swipe Pillows

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

Using a social media app to date

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Queen reigning.

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Women Seeking Men

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

The King Can Do No Wrong

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

Big smart phone and small tablet.

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

Remote controlled jester.

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

Nobility Scooter

'We only have ketchup, relish and mustard, Moses dropped the other condiments on the way down,'

Tunnel of Swiping Right

'I've misplaced my keys to the kingdom.'

'Why don't they ever try to overwhelm me with tax funds?'

"It's a small country with an acute shortage of babes."

'Of course I didn't announce the election -- it was a secret ballot!'

''Hear ye, hear ye!' - I mean, 'Once upon a time,...'

'Why, thanks -- long live YOU, too!'

"Sorry ma'am, I just need a quick selfie with your baby for my dating profile."

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'