Sovereign Of Swipe Pillows

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'The trouble with living on a farm is there are too many things a child can do.'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

Using a social media app to date

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Queen reigning.

"I knew I should've swiped left."

Women Seeking Men

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

The spanish coronation

Bunny Slope

The King Can Do No Wrong

'The Secret is to write what you know.'

Big smart phone and small tablet.

"I remember when you used to hold a scepter instead of that remote."

Remote controlled jester.

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

Nobility Scooter

'We only have ketchup, relish and mustard, Moses dropped the other condiments on the way down,'

Tunnel of Swiping Right

'I've misplaced my keys to the kingdom.'

'Why don't they ever try to overwhelm me with tax funds?'

"It's a small country with an acute shortage of babes."

'Of course I didn't announce the election -- it was a secret ballot!'

''Hear ye, hear ye!' - I mean, 'Once upon a time,...'

'Why, thanks -- long live YOU, too!'

'I told you this whole 'King of the wild frontier' thing would go straight to his head!'

"Sorry ma'am, I just need a quick selfie with your baby for my dating profile."

'The poor shlubb -- his country still only has dial-up.'