Swipe Enthusiast Pillows

"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."

Using a social media app to date

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

'Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!'

Mood Swings.

Irony: Then and Now

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

A conductor reads from a picture book.

Bicycle Pie Chart

"I knew I should've swiped left."

'I'll swap you my Wimbledon freebies for your Anodised pan set!'

"Yes, that'll be fine. I think my wife would like something to drink too."

'You don't know why you're down here?... Aren't you the guy that invented the high five in sports?'

Third base coaches during a brawl.

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

Women Seeking Men

"Very effective talk on the power of non-verbal communication."

"It's lunchtime! Have you finished saying 'Good Morning' on your WhatsApp Groups?"

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

Tap Dancing School - 'We only use tap water.'

'You deserve more than just some silly card this year...grab yourself a good one.'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

"Psst - Evening News."

'We can't promote you to partner, but I will teach you our secret handshake.'

Mime Fights: 'I think you broke my jaw!"

'When I get the clumsies, switch me to a sippy-cup.'

Box Step

'How many effin times!? Skip Sedately!'

I wish I'd never bought them that swing!

'It's Jack's homemade Merlot - care for a scoop?'

Tunnel of Swiping Right

Jack's Cards