Souvenir Shop Owner T-Shirts

"This one picks up the Atlantic from Manasquan to Cape Henlopen."

'Hello, Trompe L'Oeils-R-Us, Croydon office...'

'There is no more beach due to the phenomenal success of our beach in a bottle souvenir.'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Now that's an afro!'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

I love the Shard

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

I love Museum Shops

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"You're getting close. This is the gift shop."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Little Tiny Push-Carts

"Just pick some. No one expects a postcard to reflect your personal aesthetic."

Somewhere in France: The Fabric of Daily French Life Is On Display

"I can't stop it, so I may as well try to cash in on the tourism boom..."

Fridge Magnets/Military Medals

Whale Watch: 'They migrate here each winter in search of souvenirs.'

"Let's go on vacation, get disappointed, complain about prices, read terrible novels, buy trashy souvenirs, miss the dog and look forward to coming home."

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

"I wonder what this was for."

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

Tin Man Visits New York

Museum.

"No, you're going to hell - but you're welcome to check out the gift shop."

'Gee, these are great, are they dishwasher proof?'

'You've haed the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

"Your aunt has bequeathed to you her collection of toilet paper, soap and towels from 385 hotels from all over the world."

'My friend went to Roswell and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

"Do you know if they comply with airline baggage regulations?"

Self raising Lazarus.