Southern Comfort Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

Sleepy Bunny

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Cool hand... Uke

Little Red Riding Hood in Dallas

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Executive wearing fluffy rabbit slippers.

"I guess the tux is just another brave act of resilience. I also spilled beans on my sweats."

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"I'm no longer cleaning my whole apartment. . . Just the 'Zoom Zone.'"

Either we've both woke up with a fever or we left the electric blanket on again.

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

A Redneck Cupid with a shotgun about to fire open a Boy and Girl redneck couple.

"When I first met Howard, he had a touch of class. As it turns out, it was just a touch."

"We need one with three zones."

Totally Relaxed Fit Jeans

Another sound reason for sleeping late.

'How do you like your new, 'self rising armchair', Mum?'

High electricity consumption in the summer

"Coool! How much for the bean bag chair?"

Executive Elevator

'I miss my water bed.'

Getting older is . . . when you start to dress for comfort rather than style.

"I really want to thank you for these great telepsychiatry sessions, doctor. The format lends itself to easing my anxiety and feelings of inadequacy around others."

"If you want something firmer, I suggest you try our flooring department."

"I love putting on clothes fresh from the dryer."

Ambitions. . . To have central heating installed.

'I wish our washer and dryer were on the first floor. . . It'd be more convenient.'

"Over here, Phyllis. I've moved to the center."