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Just Stop Oil Painting

What the Doctor Ordered

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Cooking'

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Bottomless bowl of soup

"Wow, what are the chances of that four letter word being in your alphabet soup?"

Your friends pooled their retirements to buy you some super sex. I'll take the soup! Hey, I like soup.

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

Soup Company: Chicken Stock, Beef Stock and Laughing Stock,

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

Trout Game

'That's not the frisbee I tossed for you.'

What's the insect de jour?

'I don't get it... Our business model was exactly the same.'

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

'Waiter, there's a cell phone in my soup.'