Sound Therapy Seeker T-Shirts

"Of all the music records to have on a desert island, we get stuck with 'Soothing Sounds of the Ocean.'"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Dialogue

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Music downloads

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"Check out this new store."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I hate all holidays!'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

Turmoil change.

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"The subwoofers really help."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I don't know, Doc, it's just that lately I've been feeling crummy!"