Sound Therapy Seeker T-Shirts

"Of all the music records to have on a desert island, we get stuck with 'Soothing Sounds of the Ocean.'"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Dialogue

Pet a Puppy

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Music downloads

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

"Check out this new store."

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I hate all holidays!'

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Turmoil change.

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"The subwoofers really help."

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'I'd like to help you, but I never leave the office.'