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Audio Books

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

Jacques et Jille

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'