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Ear Bud Hijacking

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Wanna talk about it?

'The hard part will be writing the tutorial.'

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Congratulations! It's a boy! Quickly nurse! Get her phone and upload a picture to facebook!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

'Mom, can't we stop to look at the Grand Canyon?'

"It's my box of secrets. It has things I've thought about but would never tell anyone!"

'You know, it isn't the mother's texting while delivering that bothers, it's those damn selfies they upload to Facebook.

"Well...at least you don't s**t on my ideas."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Lessons.

"Now, is this the kind of painting you mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"First of all, this conversation never happened."

'We're running late and I have much to cover. Can you hold your eight-part question for later?'

"We'd like somewhere off the beaten track but Instagram friendly."

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Garden of Earthly Delights

". . .Release the Grunwalds now! Do not make us resort to force!"

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Gone Lecturin'

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'She blogged her first word today.'

"Your daughter has 'I have something to share' syndrome."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

Couple in bed. Man says: 'Are you BLOGGING this?'

"We'll you're never gonna get it."