Sound Sensitivity Humor Gifts

"Don't mind Bill. He's got misophonia."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

Noise Pollution

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

'Assuming present trends continue, the odds are quite good that we'll become the best-informed extinct species on the planet!'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

"What the?! They're installing a wind-chime in our tree! I can't stand the things: we have to move!"

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

"Excuse me, would you mind taking your portable zombie game to another carriage?"

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

An advertisement in an apartment window reads 'Drum Kit For Sale' - the sign in the neighbours window reads 'Thank God!'.

"Sabre-tooth, not buck tooth."

"You know that summer's arrived when you can hear four different radio stations from your own lawn."

Ear Plugs for Aliens.

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Sure, it's nice of the farmer to leave us to graze freely in the mountains, but this darn bell is driving me crazy...'

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

People at a meeting passing around cotton wool for their ears.

Noisy Neighbours

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

'Noise abatement society' demonstration.

"I just couldn't take all that clanking any more."

A Man for All Seasons (Except Winter and Summer)

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

'I'm not stressed by the belated and crowded subway. I'm stressed by all the stupid mobile conversations I was forced to listen to!'

"Stop that noise! I'm on the phone!"

'Don't be silly - how can I be disturbing your precious stamp collection?'

'I'm not one to complain George, but your wind chimes are driving me and Trisha up the wall.'

Fear of the loud flush

"I'm here to complain about the noise."