Sound Mixer Aficionado Gifts

"Maybe my argument will make more sense if I run it through some of these sick effects pedals."

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

Veloci-Rapper

One-man band rehearsal.

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"I use to be a human beat-box but found it too humdrum."

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Congerto Number One, first movement."

Older and wiser

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

Books-CDs-Tapes.

Mary Berry

"The drummer's got to go - he's too loopy."

Wee Acid Hoose - Drugs and Scottish Reels

Though he wrote the world's most listened-to melody, few people know of Tony Bombosa, the genius behind AOL Instant Messenger's four-note jingle.

Angel and Devil Music.

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

'He's playing 'Dancing Queen' on his didgeridoo... That must be an Abba-original!'

'Without further ado, I will now choose my favourite microphone.'

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"

Open Mic

"There is nothing wrong with our sound levels!!" "Can you speak up a bit? We can�t hear a word your saying..."

The Wompa Wompa Wompa sound CD.

'These geek mixers never work.'

House trained cat

International Brotherhood of Audio Engineers: 'Is this thing on?'