Sound Effects Master Gifts

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'They all want to play the star.'

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

George Michael

Dialogue

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"An everything Martini, please."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

Boy serenading a girl with a large amplifiers and speakers.

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

'It's all done with computer animation now.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'They're only interested in computer generated mammoths.' (Theatrical Agent).

'Of course we've got Marshall amps Jim! Only the best up here.'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

Santa CGI Effect

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

Karaoke night.

'So you still can't get a sound engineer then?'

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

Robbie Williams

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."