Sound Effect Aficionado Pillows

"Everyone, welcome our new Vice President of Irritating Noises!"

Pop. Crack! Snap! Creak! Every time I play tennis my body makes a racket!

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

A judge carries a horn instead of a gavel.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

My other cello is a Stradivari

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Artist and Musician

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

"Ding" "Dong"

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

The Gong

Some musicians discovering a noise from a boiling kettle

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Please. Don't get me started.'

Older and wiser

'Your parrot is driving me crazy.'

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'Good resume - although the special effects seem a little over-the-top.'

Musical Accidents

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"Congratulations, I now (phonetically) pronounce you Charles and Katherine Henderson."

Before she disciplined a student, Principal Helen Edelman played recordings of previous visitors to her office.

'Oh please, you can tell they're using a stunt gummy.'

"Ahh, if I'm not much mistaken. The sound of a Lawn Chief 420. Fitted with a 3.5 horse power, Briggs and Stratton engine. Electronic ignition, variable valve timing and a 55 litre grass box. Mmm don't you just love our Sunday mornings dear?"

"Let me through - I'm a Sound Recordist!"

'Get rid of those shoes, or I will never jog with you again.'