Sound Alchemist Gifts

"Just play the hit single, then you can do the experimental track."

Diplo

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Marimba

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

'Why don't you ever look at ME that way?'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Saxophone Player.

Artist and Musician

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'What luck! A sound technician.'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'It's in case I need a laugh track.'

'Mom, was it one or two cps of sugar?'

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

Computer Music

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

The Gong

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song, too."

2 Ohm and 4 Ohm Amps,

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'I like the way you handle responsibility, Mac, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'Is that you cell phone or mine?'

A Peek into the 2021 Noise Pollution L'Accord

"I call it 'You kids turn down that so-called music. I can't even hear myself scream.'"

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

God creates the cry of a baby.

'It's OK, it's not somebody strangling one of our friends: It's just a bagpipe player...'