Sound Adventurer Gifts

'I said - it's his punishment for mindless violence and disturbing the peace.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song, too."

'Here is your new stereo. It's got a SupaDeep Woofer System, with it's high octane surround sound, I'm sure it will fit smoothly into your life. But for God's sake; don't turn it on.'

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Peculiar Instruments From Around The World

A violinist adds balloons and bells to her bow.

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"Thank you for letting me listen to my oldies. Let's start with some Jimi Hendrix."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

'Slip Ahoy!'

Fish snorkling above water.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

Guitar Man.

Titanic: How's my steering.

"I like my vodka like I like my ships - on the rocks!"

Guide to Carpentry Fish

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

"Heads or tails?"

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"The subwoofers really help."

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Joe Henry

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

Romance on the Yacht

"White whale, red dot—we're all chasing something, my friend."

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"I read the audio book."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'