Soul Negotiators T-Shirts

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

Unison plans strikes

"Is there room for me?"

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

"All night I dreamed I was at work. Do I get overtime for that?"

Salesman in a Santa suit

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

"It's only weeks to Christmas. We have him right where we want him."

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

London underground talks continued

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."

"Here comes the ambassador now!"

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

"My salary market survey reveals that the Nelsons pay two dollars an hour more than you, and their kids are much easier to babysit."

"Our guest for the ceasefire meeting has arrived!"